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Shouldn't Matter but It Does

Sob Rock Zine Volume 1
Introductory note printed in Sob Rock Zine Volume 1

DW: I think my favorite song on the album is "Shouldn't Matter But It Does" and I'm not too proud to admit that I started crying while we were recording it. Tell us a bit about that one...

JM: I had that song written in my head before I actually recorded it. It was my shower song for several months. I'd just write the parts and remember the structure in my head. Maybe I wrote a few lines down in the iPhone, but it really was the only song I kind of worked out before ever singing it. It's about being a grown up, man. I can't quite explain it. It's what's left after you clean everything up you can from the pain of lost love... it's all about that stuff that you can't totally clear away. And how you just deal with the remains, which in its own right is sad. The sad, unfun truth, maybe the most painful one after you're done with all the exquisite drama of heartbreak is... 'it's fine.' That's what [sic] it's so sad. It's so over. But those little leftovers we all carry... they come along with us our entire lives.

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"Last Train Home" is certainly this homage to this certain kind of bubbly fun from the later 80's, and I think the reason this song [Shouldn't Matter But It Does] comes up the way it does in the track sequence is because I wanted to really let it be known that it's still me. I'm still here. I haven't left you, in terms of the level of musical sincerity that I like to put on records. This is a song called "Shouldn't Matter But it Does," and it's about growing up, maturing, putting things behind you in a thoughtful way, but every once in a while taking it out and playing with the thought of, "why didn't that work out?" And when you're younger, your emotions are a lot more histrionic and far out and fiery. And when you're older you just sort of go, "well, it's fine." And in some ways saying it's fine is a little sadder than pounding your chest and crying. That's how gone it is, is that you're able to stand in line at the super market and stare at the tic tacs and go, [makes crying sounds]. And that's exactly the emotion I wanted to capture in this song you're about to hear. It's called "Shouldn't Matter But it Does."
You know what I mean? You get old enough, there's enough road behind you to start questioning, "why did I get off that exit? Or why did I get on that exit, or get in that lane?" Listen, if you don't like metaphors you better bail now. The kid loves his metaphors. "Shouldn't Matter But it Does." That song was recorded live, and for you tech nuts, you can hear the phasing of the microphone as I move my head as I sing. That thing happens as I've got an acoustic mic and a vocal mic. And it's performed live. Which means you can't autotune, you see! So you are held to the conviction of the performance more than the perfection of the note. And I'll be driving in the car listening to this song hearing myself go, [sings line with last note slightly out of tune] "shouldn't matter but it does. Doesss." And I'll move it in my head, even though it's sharp. And maybe I'm the only one who knows it's sharp. But ain't love sharp sometimes?
I like writing songs that have open-mindedness. Like in "Shouldn't Matter But It Does," I was thinking as it was playing: "If it's on someone I blame the both of us." It just brings it down into this cooperation. I like ending songs emotionally well-adjusted.